// The passage of time, films, novels, thoughts

My relationship with the passage of time has always felt rather poignant in the sense that time feels so limited, yet so fleeting.

Hi Friends, I hope you’ve been well

we are nearing the end of the year and I find myself asking, “where did the time go?”. My relationship with the passage of time has always felt rather poignant in the sense that time feels so limited, yet so fleeting. There’s so much to do, so much to see, and so much to become, but yet every time I blink another year has grazed on by as I continue to sink into this existence, in all that it may bring.

So while its easy to get caught up in the “wash and rinse cycle” of life when it comes to going to work, going to the gym, eating right, taking care of a family, building a business, what ever that looks like for us, it’s important to stop in this very moment and sit with this version of ourselves. This version of ourselves has fought so hard to get us here, and in this moment we are the oldest we’ve ever been, and the youngest we’ll ever be. And if one thing is for certain, it’s that we will never be here again. Metaphorically speaking, sometimes we just have to pull off the highway and into a rest stop. Take a respite, browse the new scenery, stretch our legs, take a fresh breath of air, appreciate the moment and realize just how far we’ve come. 

Sometimes it can feel as though life is a race. As if we are all barreling towards this abstract finish line, as if once we get there we will be rewarded for our efforts and pursuits. All the while the prize was always the experience in itself in which we became disillusioned to. So why must life feel like a race? After all, it’s not as if any of us will make it out alive. Why must we race towards this idea of “completion”, when it inevitably carries us closer to this finite place? The end. The very end of our existence. The end of everything we knew, loved, and worked for. Yeah, this took a dark turn, so let’s reel it back. 

I guess what I’m saying is, I want to stop and smell the roses. I want to slow down. I want to notice the small moments. I want to notice the phases of the moon, to cry over a well done film, to read a great novel and think about the characters for days as if their experiences were my own, to make a recipe from scratch, tend to a garden, encourage and support my loved ones, to be kind, pray to god, to dance… a lot, to smile and wave to my neighbor, work on a puzzle, make a floral arrangement, pick up a hobby, learn something new. I want to be dialed in, to appreciate the complexity of emotion in this universal human experience. To allow the small moments to open my heart and mind and allow these experiences to fundamentally and irrevocably transform me as a person. To allow me to feel deeply, and allow me to remain present, and grateful for this very moment in the passage of time.

In lieu of that, I’d like to draw light to a few things I’ve enjoyed recently in reference to films and novels. A few things that allowed me to feel deeply and appreciate the moment. 

Let’s us dive in,

Film: “We Live in Time” 

I recently decided to do something a little off cuff and see a film in theatre. I saw the trailer for “We live in time” and felt instantly connected to the plot.Watcher beware, it’s a sad one, but equally as beautiful. I think for a long time I avoided sad films, specifically sad romances. Nothing pulls on my heart strings quite like a story between two lovers. I believe I avoided these films in part because I do empathize deeply, and sadness isn't necessarily an emotion we truly allow ourselves to sit in, and feel and therefore it can feel intense, and all encompassing. However, theres so much beauty that can be found in those melancholic places. It's a different filter for the world in which allows us to frame things differently, and if we are luckily, change our minds, and our hearts. That’s the beauty about art.“We Live In Time” is a fiction based drama romance staring Andrew Garfield and Florence Pugh. 

The story follows Almut (Pugh) and Tobias (Garfield) from their initial interaction through the continual development of their relationship over the years. One of my favorite aspects about this film was that it was shot in non linear, fragmented timeline allowing the viewer to piece together the storyline for themselves. “We Live in Time” explores themes of love, grief, and the fleeting of time highlighting the ebbs and flows of life, and how Almut and Tobias handle the ever changing tides with nothing short of grace, tact, and pure love for one another. 

Almut's character is a very driven young woman whom seemingly excels at anything she puts her mind to. She’s extremely career oriented and by a young age accomplishes the title of a renowned chef accompanied by her own restaurant. However, she struggles in areas such as relationships and the ideas of motherhood. For Almut theres a big emphases on making something of herself, and leaving a legacy, she wants to be remembered.

Tobias’s character is very cerebral and reflective. Majority of the film casts light on his endless, unwavering, unconditional love, and support for Almut. I felt that at the end of the day Tobias would support any and every decision Almut made for herself, despite him not being able to necessarily understand them, which creates deep emotional tension throughout the film and points to the broader picture, that being the very unconditional love they had. Just as life seems to be happening for them, Almut is diagnosed with cancer. Her decision on how she feels is best to approach the issue lies in question. Does one skip treatment and have one great year, or does one proceed with treatment and have two bad years? What's the value on quality of life and time? This is something that follows the two throughout the story showing how the two navigate not only their lives together as individuals, but as lovers, and parents through the uncertainties of life. The film left me crying in the theaters; the story was absolutely beautiful and does a tremendous job at exploring the idea of the universal human experience, suffering, the sanctity of life, our loved ones, how we impact those around us, and the stories we leave behind. Take a tissue, you'll need it!

Novels: “Shuggie Bain” By Douglas Stuart

I purchased “Shuggie Bain” By Douglas Stuart along with a few other novels a year or so ago and finally made my way around to reading it. This was a slow read for me, as I averaged a chapter a day. I believe this was in part due to the fact that I never felt this insatiable curiosity over the plot that would dedicate this read to being a page turner. Nonetheless, there was just enough curiosity to see it through to the end. Although I wouldn't place this novel on my list of “top picks” I would be doing a massive disservice by not discussing how the stories of these characters stuck with me for days. 

Shuggie Bain takes place in Glasgow, Scotland in the 1980s and follows a two-decade story highlighting the relationship between a mother and son. The story explores themes of poverty, addiction, unconditional love, sexuality, resilience, and loss.

The mother Agnes is a woman of immense pride. Agnes comes from a working class family and has high dreams and ideals for herself. Unfortunately, Agnes’s reality falls short of her aspirations as life progresses. Agnes's character is portrayed as having this deep seated unhappiness for the way her cards were dealt and therefore battles with alcoholism as a form of escape. Agnes makes a series of impulsively led, poor decisions which ultimately come at the cost of not only herself, but her family. However, despite the lows Agnes faces, she continues to keep her head, and pride held high. Her son Shuggie is a child who didn't get to experience a true childhood as it was predominately spent caring and looking after his mother, Anges. Aside from the at home struggles Shuggie is plagued with, he also experiences confusion around his sexuality and is an outcast by peers in their community. Between Shuggie’s mother cycling through addiction, him having no true friends, and older sibling who have left at the first opportunity, young Shuggie is left to care for himself and endure these hardships alone. Shuggie’s character displays great resilience and you want nothing more than to give him a hug.

However, the silver lining lies in how Shuggie and Agnes show up for each other in the moments in between despite their separate hardships. Theres a display of unconditional love and resilience. This novel left me with negative feelings towards Agnes and sorrow for shuggie. However, the longer I sat with the story and thought about the characters I begun to see great strength, suffering, two people doing the best they could, and mostly I saw love. The unconditional love we have for those who are close to us, and how we continuously show up for them despite the circumstances. 

That's all I have for today's post. I typically plan the topics I'd like to discuss in advance, however, this morning this topic surfaced on its own and I felt deeply connected to it, and figured “why not?". I think this season has me feeling closer than ever to the every changing tides of human emotion. I feel myself going through a personal transition and I am learning to see the beauty in the good, the bad, and the ugly. I think if we are open to the full spectrum of human emotion we can then allow ourselves to truly feel, and to truly feel is to fully live. 

Until next time 

Dani girl xx